Hong on RTHK Radio5 Programme – II

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English Translation of RTHK Radio 5 Programme – 笑容從家開始

Episode title: 同性戀子女 (“Homosexual children”)

Date:  March 4, 2010

Link:http://programme.rthk.hk/channel/radio/programme.php?name=radio5/smilefamily&d=2010-03-04&p=4304&e=105059&m=episode

**NB: Highlighted comments are rather dubious remarks made by either Dr. Hong and/or the host.

Client’s and relevant persons’ personal comments are in blue italicized text in square brackets.

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SMILE: Later in the show, we invited a Clinical Psychiatrist Dr Hong Kwai Wah. Dr Hong will tell us how to talk to, counsel and face together with your children when they face homosexual problem or if they have experienced distresses relating to homosexuality.

[This is important because Dr. Hong’s profession is announced here. However, his position towards homosexuality is NOT stated. He is in fact the chairman of New Creation Association HK, an organization that positions itself as “helping” people to “solve” homosexuality problem.]

[RTHK should have also disclose Dr. Hong’s relationship with New Creation Association HK, so to let the audience know about his background, which could affect Dr. Hong’s opinion, and he maybe already biased, rather than having him to appear to be a professional who is neutral about the topic.]

In the past few weeks, I remembered there were several parents called in and mentioned that their children are facing this distress. Parents were really sad when they getting to know their children were homosexual.

Wish our information and contents today can help you. Please feel free to call 1872312, 1872312 is our family hotline. Later at 9:00 we will start listening to calls; now you can call and register first. [03:59”]

[Note the word “information”. This programme was intended to “inform” the public on how to deal with homosexuality, using the medical authority from Dr. Hong]

SMILE: 4 March 2010, Thursday. Distorted homosexual relationship in campus, students being homosexual partners – Female teacher indecently assaulted female student;

[The host sounded like reporter of a tabloid! She already judged such relationship as being “perverted”.]

The reason why it was regarded as distorted was because, when the incident happened, one of them was a secondary school female teacher and the other one was a form 1 female student.

[Okay. Had it been opposite sex, what will the host called it distorted?]

They were in a homosexual teacher-student relationship. The teacher even indecently assaulted the female students while they were in the relationship.

The teacher inappropriately kissed and fondled the female student. The teacher even stored some exotic short video in an USB flash drive. [04:59”]

[It is very rare that so much detail of such a “teacher-student” affairs were described in a programme. “teacher-student” affair happens, but it appeared that the highlight was there because it was between same sexes.]

SMILE: The incident was as follow: When the accused was teaching in the school, she knew the victim who was the female student. At that time, the teacher was still the form-teacher of the student. They entered into a homosexual teacher-student relationship. Between 2008 and 2009, the accused allegedly indecent assaulted the student four times at her own home. The mother of the student always saw accused and her daughter hanging out together. Her daughter even brought the accused home for dinner. In order not to affect the mother-daughter relationship, she just tolerated the situation. Until last Christmas, the mother bumped into the accused and another girl while they were walking together, they were closed to each other. The mother then, using her cell phone, to take a few photos about the acts of these two ladies. Then she showed to her daughter hoping her daughter would stop the relationship with the accused.

[We do not understand why the host has to use a case of teacher harassing student to introduce the topic.  If the topic were how teenagers deal with a heterosexual romance, would the host use a case of a woman teacher sexually harass a boy student in the show to introduce the topic? I have reasons to believe that the host is already prejudged that homosexual relationship is bad, so the use of this case is to cast a very negative impression about homosexuality.]

After the daughter saw the photos, she was very angry. She complained to her mother that she was indecently assaulted by the accused, who was also her teacher, and exotic short videos were taken. The source of the newspaper disclosed that the mother sought help from the social worker. The social worker suggested her to report to the police but the mother thought her daughter should be persuaded first. The social worker made attempted calls to this mother afterwards but she could not be contacted. Then, at the end of last year, the social worker reported to the police.

The police arrested the accused. The accused denied that she had sexual assaulted the female student. She even said that they were in consent. The parents were worried after hearing about this case. You may have many questions in your mind: If this happen on me, what should I do? May be you have lost your confidence to teachers. The vice president of the teachers association, Wong Hak Lim, gave some reminders to the teachers: Teacher has to establish a good teacher-student relationship, but they have to keep an appropriate gap from the student at the same time. Especially when a female student sought help from a male teacher, even though it is only an academic consultation, they should avoid staying alone. They should also open the classroom door. If a student wants to date the teacher alone, the teacher should suggest inviting other classmates as well. Most importantly, the teacher should give the student the message that no further relationship should be developed so as to make the student to back off. When the teacher is counseling the student, if it involves the topics of body contact, love affairs or sexual relationship, they should also transfer the consultation to some professionally trained teacher for follow up.

[This is clearly intermixing a case of teacher sexually harassing a student (by exploiting the trust relationship), which can happen even for a heterosexual relationship, yet the host is creating an impression that homosexual teachers is a threat to students.]

Parents would ask: Would there be any punishment for the teacher who did this thing? According to the Hong Kong Professional Teaching Regulations, if the teacher was acting in a manner which exceeds their role or having a relationship with students, the council of the industry could transfer the case to Education Bureau for disciplinary action. The school can also caution the related teacher or even dismissed him/her. As a parent, I believe you would feel worried when you hear this kind of news. You can call in and have a chat with us. The family hotline of “Smile from home” is 1872 312. [06:00”]

SMILE: The time now is 8:20, you are listening to “Smile from home”. I am Cheung Siu Yung, our guest today is Dr. Hong Kwai Wah, a psychiatrist. Good morning Dr. Hong. [14:47”]

HONG: Good morning.

SMILE: We talked to you once last time, there were some feedback from the audiences. Especially some parents, we received some cases regarding their children having homosexual preference. They asked many questions, including topics of emotional agitation, problem of getting along with their daughter, and also how they should face the problem, whether to change them or to accept them, and what they should do in general. As there were so many unclear questions, it is worthy for us to have further discussion on this topic.

Moreover, if you read the news today, and I have also mentioned the case just now, there was news about female teacher indecent assaulted the 13 year old female student. This was regarded as a distorted relationship of which we rarely heard. We have heard before regarding male teacher…

[This is the second time the host used the adjective “distorted” on the case the female teacher sexually harassing the girl student.]

HONG: Yes, this is the first time we heard about female teacher and it was first time of its kind.

SMILE: The matter doesn’t only involve the topic of homosexuality; it is also a very serious one because the victim was only 13 year old. This is also an indecent assault case happening in the campus, very complicated. Today we are going to talk about how parents should deal with first. Usually the first question would be: if this happen to my family, this is very personal and would be a big deal on me.

HONG: Yes, that would not be a problem.

SMILE: It would not be the case if it happened on me, right?

HONG: Many parents found it hard to accept.

SMILE: When the parents come to see you, what are their emotional statuses?

HONG: Usually they cried loudly, feeling desperate, or they didn’t know how to solve. Sometimes they noticed through emails and communications of their children but not from their children personally. So when they knew it secretly, they don’t know how to say. Sometimes they would feel guilty, sad or angry, indeed very complicated emotions.

[The whole tone of the discussion assumed that homosexuality is a problem, and Dr. Hong is trying to talk about how parents should deal with the “problem”.]

SMILE: On the one hand, they cannot accept and they would blame themselves…

HONG: Some would even feel their daughter has died or even worse than their children has already dead.

[Creating stigmatization of homosexuals]

SMILE: The daughter that she knew, the daughter that they raised, is different and turned into some other person.

HONG: and they worried that their future path would be difficult. I believe many parents love their children and don’t want their children to walk a difficult path.

SMILE: There may be fighting between husband and wife.

HONG: Yes.

SMILE: The fighting was about blaming the other for raising the children like that.

HONG: Yes, and sometimes they would blame themselves or the other for not doing something therefore have led their child to this homosexual consequences.

SMILE: Blaming themselves would be about not raising them properly.

HONG: It is about what I have done wrong to make the children have this kind of preference.

SMILE: like a repay for what I have done.

HONG: Yes

SMILE: It means that if the parents were already in this state of emotional status, let’s not even think about understanding their children as they should have dealt with themselves first.

HONG: Yes, in fact the first step is to deal with the emotion of themselves and the reaction, try to learn how you feel, then express them. Sometimes you would be alone and afraid to talk to the children’s teacher because fearing that the teacher would scold the children. Then it would further complicate the situation. Sometimes the parents do not know how to talk to their children about the problem.

[Implying that homosexuality is a problem?]

SMILE: To pretend don’t know or what should I do?

HONG: Sometimes if they pretend they do not know, they couldn’t fall asleep, like keeping a secret in their heart; but they were worried and do not know how to deal with it. So it is rather complicated. They need someone to talk to and to help them, counseling and help them understand the truth of homosexuality; about the way out.

SMILE: Sometimes the emotion arises from the absence of knowledge of the issue and the fear out of the issue. Then they would also think this is not acceptable by the society, feel like they cannot talk to their relatives and concern the negative thought of others. That’s why they were feeling alone. The first thing is to deal with is one’s own emotion and to talk to someone you can trust.

HONG: Yes, it is very important.

SMILE: Then how to talk to them? Like finding a trustworthy person is really hard, especially regarding this kind of difficult topic.

HONG: Yes, I think there are various way outs. For example, some organization would offer help to these parents. Like some organizations also helped some people who were distressed by homosexuality, their relatives and parents. Parents can find these organizations and talk to them. If they would consult counselor regularly or organization, they could also talk to them about this issue.

SMILE: We can try to introduce these organizations later. If we have to firstly deal with our own emotions, besides seeking help from others, we can also quiet down and think or talk to your spouse.

HONG: Yes

SMILE: Mother usually found out this issue first because mother usually pays attention to small things. But how should they talk to their husband?

HONG: How to talk to their husband would depend on her relationship with her husband. If the relationship of them is quite apart, or very bad, it would be quite hard to talk to their spouse. If the relationship is good, I think they would just open up themselves and talk about the issue and to find some information.

In the internet and the organizations, they would provide some information to homosexuality. Then they can talk to the teacher. Most importantly, they should not exaggerate the issue. In fact, the children are still there but the children just have some sexual preferences problem. We would not like the parents to judge their children from their sexual preference. Once they were their children, they would be their children forever.

The parents should learn to love their children and care about them even if they do not agree with homosexuality. However, we can separate a man from their act, we still accept the man even if you disagree some of their acts. Just like sometimes when parents found out their children were smoking which would harm their health, they disagree they smoke but they would still communicate and care about their children.

Obviously it would be hard to find a chance and talk to them: Does opposite sex really cannot attract you but only same sex? This may require the parents to know more about these aspects then they can deal with their emotion. They should only talk to their children about this issue under calm situation.

SMILE: Does that mean before talking to the children, the parents should know more about the issues?

HONG: Yes, otherwise the emotion would be too strong and the children would think THAT their parents don’t understand and accept them. Such a big reaction would make them think the parents were blaming the children for making a really big mistake. The sexual preferences of the children were usually discovered under natural circumstances.

SMILE: When talking about causes of homosexuality, there are many versions and different views from academics, even there are different standpoints among organizations.

[This is wrong information. Scientifically there is consensus, except people’s acceptance and stance are different.]

Some say it is very natural, or was inborn, so people should just accept that. Some just say parents should talk to their children because sometimes it was not inborn and children themselves may already have many distresses relating to homosexuality. This may be changed. As there are so many patients, from your clinical experience and research, what is your view point?

[There is a problem here, are they asking help from his professional practice, or from New Creation Association?  Is she asking him on his capacity as a psychiatrist to give a professional opinion? This could mislead a lot of listeners.]

HONG: I think the cause includes both inborn and acquired factors. I think it is wrong if we only emphasis that homosexuality is inborn. It would also not be credible if we say homosexuality only includes acquired factors. Homosexuality was caused by interaction of both factors. In fact, homosexuality is very complicated in some specific cases. The acquired factors may not be derived from a single factor, but from multiple factors together affecting someone to have such a sexual preference.

[Hong was being very careful in crafting this comment]

SMILE: Not only from a single factor?

HONG: No. Usually it formed from multiple factors and interaction of inborn, acquired character and various factors.

SMILE: As you said before, parents might blame themselves for raising their child not in a proper way and lead to such an acquired character. The parents might also think that they might contribute to some of their children’s experience. Therefore, self-blaming will make parents have a hard time facing their children.

HONG: Yes, so I hope the parents do not immediately bear the responsibility on themselves because not only family factor would affect but also from schools, friends and social factors which are all very important. Therefore, factors from every aspect would contribute to homosexuality. Moreover, sexual experience such as being sexual assaulted may also contributes to the formation of sexual preference.

SMILE: Oh, being sexual assault may also contribute to the formation of sexual preference?

HONG: Yes, including homosexual experience or heterosexual experience. E.g. A male may be sexually assaulted by another male when he was young, this would affect their sexual preference.

[Are these assumptions of causes of homosexuality inappropriate and misleading? To say that sexual abuse is common in LGBT people is different than saying that experience of sexual abuse causes homosexuality]

SMILE: We would see news on the newspaper occasionally.

HONG: Yes. We will talk about how parents should support each other later.

[BREAK]

SMILE: The guest today is Psychiatrist, Dr. Hong Kwai Wah. Dr. Hong, just now you mentioned the sexual preference and actions involved both inborn factors and acquired characters. Does it mean this preference and acts can be changed? [33:22”]

HONG: Yes, it can be changed. But the person has to have a determined mind and insistence to change. With additional assistance, some of them may change their sexual preference.

[Here Dr. Hong is actually using the same description from Dr. Spitzer’s study, which stated that if the individual has to be highly motivated, change is possible. However, It seems inappropriate for Dr. Hong to promote sexual orientation change efforts (SOCE)  as a psychiatrist as the American Psychiatric Assoc 2000 position statements states that “as a general principle, therapists should not determine the goal of the treatment either coercively or through subtle influence”.  It seems here, that Dr. Hong already made a conclusion that the goal of the treatment is to alter one’s sexual orientation – although the APA encourages therapists to NOT impose a specific sexual orientation identity outcome. Further, he mentions nothing re the harm that SOCE can cause.]

SMILE: There were some researches overseas, weren’t there?

HONG: Yes.

SMILE: They were about the chances and the basis to change, can you introduce them?

HONG: For example in 2007, there were researchers conducted a research on 100 people who indicated they have homosexual preference, they discovered that almost 15% can establish attractiveness to opposite sex.

More than 20% cannot change themselves to attract opposite sex but their attractiveness to the same sex reduced. The distresses relating to homosexuality was also reduced. The sense of shame, loneliness and emotional depression reduced too. They also get away from their “homosexualisation” style of life. The people became more peaceful and happier. Although they still have such a preference, but the degree was reduced. Some of their situation fluctuates but they have made improvement.

[This has to be criticized, it is clearly referring to a sexual orientation change and the results, and there is no real study to substantiate that. These claims are outrageous.]

Thus, you can say they can change but it is not an absolute change. So, for example, when parents want them to change, parents better not force their children to change.

You cannot change one person by forcing them to do something which they do not want to. You would not force someone to change their character too. Can a character be changed? It can be changed. The sexual preference was actually a part of the central of a character. Therefore, they can change but would be difficult.

[The 2007 study Dr. Hong mentioned is unknown.   The kinds of study Dr. Hong talks about is certainly on Reparative Therapy (aka Conversion Therapy) or Transformational Ministry.

These studies to date are still highly controversial, with both the sampling method and the definition of “successful change of orientation” severely criticized.]

SMILE: The older the harder?

HONG: To a certain extent it is not.

We discovered that when they turn into 10-20 year old, their enthusiasm of homosexuality is very strong. At that time they would not like to change. But when they get to 30 year old, and after they have gone through many break ups, they would find that homosexuality cannot satisfy them. They cannot get the true love etc. When they get disappointed, they may want to change. Therefore, I think different people have different stage.

[This argument can also apply on heterosexual relationship too. Do we allow heterosexuals to turn to homosexual or become celibate?]

SMILE: Does it mean it is the hardest time to change at the time they discovered?

HONG: Some psychologists found that between the age of 14 and 17, some teenagers felt they were attractive to same sex doesn’t mean they would be homosexual in the future. But when people confirm they were homosexual when they are at the age 17 or 18, they would seek love from this aspect. At that time, it would be harder to persuade them to change.

SMILE: They are trying to settle themselves, aren’t they?

HONG: No, they are looking for the true love. They are trying to look for their ideal partner.

SMILE: That’s mean at the age of 17 or 18 when they still doubt whether they were homosexual…

HONG: Yes, that would be a good time to chat. Hoping that they would have more understanding and knowledge. Especially for girls, they may have both homosexual and heterosexual preference.

Parents have to respect how they view themselves and their homosexual preference. Also pay attention to whether homosexual preference would turn into distresses, whether they have other self-imaging problem. For example, we also help a lot of homosexual who do not accept their own sexual character: boys would think they don’t look like boys or look like other boys and create inferior; some girls also do not like their role and character as a girl. For this sort of cases, we can also help them to accept themselves and strengthen their masculine feature or feminine feature.

[Using gender stereotype to as a strategy to “repair” homosexuality may not Dr. Hong’s own opinion but he should make it clear that his opinion does not represent that of international professional bodies.  Can this comment be argued as inappropriate as he is speaking as a psychiatrist and on RTHK?]

SMILE: Before you said the formation includes inborn factors as well as acquired factors, but many people think they actually developed homosexuality while they entered puberty, especially when you heard from homosexual, it is very natural so why was it not inborn? As it is inborn, why do you have to change them? It would be violating the nature if you try to change them. The parents would then think they would be violating the nature if they tried to change something.

HONG: Natural doesn’t mean inborn because sexual preference formed between age 11 and 14, they are formed very naturally. However, between 0-10, any acquired character would affect the formation of sexual preference. Thus, experience at younger age, family background, friend’s inference would be important too. Natural doesn’t mean inborn. Many people think natural equals to inborn but it is a misunderstanding.

[I don’t think there is any peer reviewed study which established that homosexuality was “acquired”, whether you called it a preference or an orientation.]

SMILE: So natural does not mean inborn…

HONG: No, it doesn’t.

SMILE: So that is because the acquired character changed their…

HONG: Yes, experience at younger age and some acquired character can change. For example, psychologist discovered that people who has homosexual preference, no matter male or female, there are 70% of people has “gender identity not coherent” during their early childhood. That means it does not match or not accept the gender identity.

For example, some boys felt like he doesn’t like girls as other boys do, or do not love to play toys of the opposite sex or they cannot get into groups of same sex. They only like the opposite sex. They would be happier to play with the opposite sex, feeling playing with girls are happier than playing with boys. They felt like they were quite girlish but their body does not look like a girl. So they found themselves not fitting in with anything/ one. For example girls would find themselves hate to be a girl, they played boy’s stuff e.g. toys, games and activities so as to get closed to boys. However, she was a girl.

[Here again using gender identity disorder to confuse the subject…Here it is a very controversial remark. Dr. Hong claims that childhood gender identity disorder and non-conformity will have a high chance of becoming homosexual or bisexual. Here contains materials that rebut his claims:

http://www.gidreform.org/gid3026.html.]

[An expert opinion from psychiatrists/ psychologies is needed to confirm the validity of his claim.]

SMILE: This is not inborn, is it?

HONG: There are inborn factors and also acquired factors. Many time when gender identity being not coherent, there are 40-70% being homosexual or both homosexual or heterosexual.

[It is normal practice for professionals and academia to first alert the audience or readers that what he/she is citing is controversial. Here Dr. Hong cited a piece of information from an unknown study, claiming that 70% of homosexuals had childhood gender identity disorder and non-conformity, and then saying that those with childhood gender identity disorder and non-conformity have a 40 to 70% chance of becoming homosexual/bisexual. However this claim is sharply criticized.]

SMILE: Just now we said during the upbringing, probably senior primary school stage to junior high school stage…

HONG: Yes, they would have noticed when they get to primary 5 or 6.

SMILE: This is the critical time, if the parents find the characteristics which Dr. Hong mentioned…there would be discussion between parents, why boy always like to play toy cookery or want to wear skirt, at that time parents should give them more guidance so as to get them to know that gender identity or the true role.

HONG: Yes, and they have to ask the child whether they are struggling in this aspect. Actually sometimes the kids would be quite unhappy at school, especially for boys because they would easily be bullied by other boys and laughed at them because they were so girlish. Sometimes, their act would not be girlish but they would be excluded by other boys. This exclusion would strengthen their sense of identity incoherence. They would ask themselves: am I a boy? Why am I so different? Even if they are completely not girlish, they did not play what the other boys play and not to be as rude as other boys and they would keep things to them and hate going to school.

[Dr. Hong mixes up between gender confusion and gender identity disorder]

SMILE: Parents would not know these feelings because the children would not tell their parents.

HONG: Yes, most of the times they would not tell their parents.

SMILE: They doubt themselves and would not dare to tell their parents because they afraid that parents would scold them if the relationship is not so good. As we mentioned, the relationship between spouses would affect their view to gender identity.

HONG: Yes, parents being role of models is also important and the relationship between the parents is really important.

SMILE: Relationship between the parents?

HONG: Yes, quarrels or father scolding mother all the times or irresponsibility of father, gambling and drinking or not accepting children’s gender and acquired character…

SMILE: Children’s role model to follow?

HONG: Yes

SMILE: Male doesn’t know what to do?

HONG: In fact sons usually follow the father and other male character. This is very important in his growth. The girl should follow her mother.

SMILE: So if she cannot find coherence?

HONG: This is one of the factors which would lead her to have homosexual preference.

SMILE: But I have also heard of some cases which the spouses claimed they have not big arguments and family being peaceful etc. It would not be strange for the children to develop homosexuality because of this reason.

HONG: Yes, I know many parents who were very good and the child can still develop homosexual preference. That’s why I say this problem is very complicated and involved many other factors besides family factors.

SMILE: As homosexuality is formed from multiple factors, it would take a long time to counsel the child. We will later talk about how to talk to the child after discovering they were homosexual.

SMILE: When you discovered your children was homosexual, how should you face? Firstly, children should face themselves.

Our guest today is Psychiatrist, Dr Hong Kwai Wah. Just now you mentioned parents should understand what homosexuality is and they would be less afraid if they know more. And we mentioned that there were inborn factors and acquired factors during the formation of homosexual preference. There were also many complicated and different factors within the acquired factors. It may be related to father, mother and family upbringing of the children. Nevertheless, it could also be factors relating to studying, social life in school and even social factors. We cannot talk about all these now. I am very greedy. I would like to give feedback to one parent who is currently listening.

She is in real difficulty as her children really have this situation. How to talk to the daughter? Talk about what though? Her difficulty is: I accept she is my daughter but I cannot accept her acts. She believed I would like to change her so would not like to talk to me. [49:26”]

HONG: So the parent should find a chance to talk to the daughter alone. Of course the parents should talk to each other first and see who would be more acceptable to talk to the child. Then more acceptable one should talk to the child. Sometimes the opening of the conversion is quite important. Parents should say to the daughter: Recently I observed there was some acts blah blah blah…

SMILE: If the daughter admitted, then what?

HONG: If she admitted, then the mother should ask her whether this homosexual preference causes her any struggle, confusion or unhappiness and how she viewed her sexual preferences. Sometimes children would also be affected by some concepts in the society that homosexual is inborn and cannot be changed. These kinds of misunderstanding and confusion would cause them to believe their sexual preference is non-changeable. Therefore, understand her view towards homosexuality, her preference, emotion and struggling and whether they are dating is important. For example, for boys, parents should gradually get to know whether he was involved in any sexual relationship and even some unsafe sex which would cause sexual diseases or aids. Parents should establish a relationship with the children at this time.

SMILE: It should really be careful when communicating right?

HONG: Yes. Parents shouldn’t get too fast and have to do gradually.

SMILE: Otherwise the kids would be unhappy and unwilling to tell.

HONG: That’s why I say parents should deal with their own emotion before talking to their children. Sometimes you have to hold your emotion and have to tell the children very clearly. Even if father and mother do not agree with this act, but you are always the child that we love and care, this fact is not going to be changed. This eternal love and ongoing communication would make the child feel better and secure.

SMILE: But for children they would think like this: You parents come and talk to me like this is to show your disagreement of my acts and intends to change me. As you disagree with my acts, you are not accepting me. Thus it is quite hard to reach a clear line. Because in the heart of the children, what they want is just parents accepting that he/she is a homosexual and don’t try to change me.

HONG: Then the parents should learn how to give response to this sort of comments. There are always different value between parents and their kids. It cannot to compel others to totally accept your value. In fact being respectful to each other’s views are very important. A parent-children relationship should not be affected by different views of value. Take for example, if you play computer games for 3 hours I would be unhappy too, but I would still love you. Is it really that I have to accept you playing computer games for such a long time though? Therefore, we should open up and speak to the children with an open view. For example, parent can ensure to the children that they won’t make it change, I respect your choice so you shouldn’t make me to change my value to accept your thoughts and acts. On the contrary, we accept different thoughts and it is very normal.

[And also, Dr. Hong uses differences in values and opinion to muddle the issue – sexuality is part of a person, just like one’s look and character, not just fleeting opinion.]

SMILE: First, let the children know the standpoint of the parents.

HONG: In fact, most of the time, they knew the standpoint of their parents and it won’t need emphasis. On the contrary, the parents should assure their acceptance and whether they accept or intended to change the kid’s mind. Therefore we helped a lot of children who intended to change or the parents want them to change. The love from the parents make the children change their view towards their parents and think this alternative way works.

SMILE: We still have a lot to say on today’s topic, may be next time we should find another chance to invite Dr Hong again to explain how to face with the children. Let us talk about it next time.

HONG: Yes, thank you.


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