Hong on RTHK Radio5 Programme – IV
English Translation of RTHK Radio 5 Programme – 笑容從家開始
Episode title: 青少年女同性戀的困惑 (“Problems faced by homosexual teenagers”)
Date: September 20, 2010
**NB: Highlighted comments are rather dubious remarks made by either Dr. Hong and/or the host.
Client’s and relevant persons’ personal comments are in blue italicized text in square brackets
—————————————————————————————————-
Personal Comment show “Smile from family” is going to be broadcasted now. [6”00]
SMILE: After reading some news headlines, parents should pay attention to some news. Coincidentally, one of the news is related to the educational sector. The case I am talking about is same sex teacher-student relationship. This case involved a 29 year old female teacher, having immoral teacher-student relationship with a F.2 female student. This case has reached to the sentencing stage at court already. The female teacher has been convicted already. She is just pending for sentencing.
[The host spoke about this case in a previous episode dated March 4, 2010 – it was mention as a way to introduce the issue of homosexuality and how distress parents a deal with the situation.]
Later on, we will invite clinical psychiatrist Dr. Hong Kwai Wah to talk about the same sex contact/ connection problem during teenage stage. [8”30]
Today’s topic will be sexual orientation education. The abovementioned case concerning same sex relationship of a 29 years old female teacher and a F.2 female student definitely has drawn parents’ attention. The judge said the victim’s sexual orientation is not a factor for sentencing. The reason why this case is so serious is because of the huge age difference btw the 2 parties, the special relationship of the parties, minor is involved and repeat occurrence of the offences. [8”45]
Today we have invited psychiatrist Dr. Hong Kwai Wah to talk about sex orientation education. We occasionally discuss topic like this because court sometimes would come across with similar cases. The unique part of this case is the involvement of victim’s mother. Some reports stated that the mother has the knowledge concerning the teacher having intimate relationship with her daughter during the incidents. There are different versions of the case. [8”45]
We want to talk more about girls during puberty today. They face lots of problems regarding relationships. What sort of roles should we, as parents, take? [20”45]
HONG: Parents have the responsibility and need to educate children. They can’t handover the responsibility entirely to school. In particular, daughters should relatively talk more to their mother. Mothers should know more about that, especially when daughters have their first period. They would be scared and would tell their mother about it. Would that be the best timing for a mother to talk about opposite sex attraction, and ask them whether they are interested in opposite sex or same sex. And mothers can take this opportunity to ask their daughters about what they know about homosexuality. Since on the internet and especially in girl schools, there are lots of girls’ couple. They are more open to public.
I want to bring up that there are some psychologist research “心理學家”conducted more than 10 years ago of 3000 students which found that-
- At 12 years of age, approximately 25% of children do not know their sexual orientation.
- At 18 years of age, only 5% do not know their sexual orientation. Half of the children thought that they were homosexuals at 12 years of age re-discovered they were heterosexuals when they reached 18. [23”15]
[What study is he quoting from?]
SMILE: This seems quite special. Can you explain more? [23”15]
HONG: Like the research mentioned before, at 12 years of age, they might have thought that they were homosexual or bisexual, but later on, they reaffirmed that they are heterosexual instead.
SMILE: Regarding the short term same sex attraction, would that be affected by trends or environment? [26”10]
HONG: Yes. You can say that from 12- 18 years old, it can depend on surrounding environment. If they really come across with a homosexual senior schoolmate, and that senior schoolmate has built up a good relationship with her, because she want to be loved and she likes the senior schoolmate a lot, she might be willing to lose her virginity to the same sex female senior schoolmate.
[How is this relevant to the causes of homosexuality? This example is misleading to the general audience and over-generalises the causes of homosexuality]
[News Report]
SMILE: Restating the topic of the day, homosexual/ same sex attraction. As Hong stated the fact that teenagers always get confused about their sexual orientation, whether they are heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual, what can be done by the parents? [32”40]
HONG: As mentioned, start educating their children (i.e. daughters) when they have their first menstrual discretion. Not only to teach them about opposite sex attraction and prevention; but also same sex attraction.
He gave out some examples of how the parents should educate their daughters “Now, you have the ability to have babies, therefore you should be really careful in pregnancy prevention” and “you should keep your virginity to the one you really love in the future; at this early age, it would be better to keep a good distance between you and the other boys. Don’t be too casual about sexual intercourse.” Failure in a relationship or lost of dignity could be such a great harm to teenagers.
SMILE: There are two kinds of the determination of sexual orientation. Some teenagers would think that their homosexual orientation comes from inborn factors. The other kind is that they may have some examples or senior schoolmates to be the shadows to follow. They started off with a friendship and gradually to develop into an intimate relationship.
HONG: Within the school, the close relationships between the teachers and the students would lead to the sexual relationship. If they are between ages of 11 to 14, they realise that only same sex people would attract their attentions while it never happens to opposite sex people; they would look for other homosexual people. At this stage, they are not necessarily homosexual in which involve sexual intercourses.
[Are these comments misleading to the lay audience? It seems to be stereotyping homosexual relationships and the causes of homosexuality]
Most likely, all they need are to be loved and protected, in some senses by those girls older than them. Originally, it didn’t involve sex. Eventually, if the relationship is being established or stabilised; while the partner requests for sex, what should they respond? Then mothers should discuss this with their daughters. There would be possibility that she may lose her partner if she rejected to have sex. This should be educated in advance because most teenagers would not know what had led to this situation, i.e. sex.
A case example provided by Hong: a form six girl started to have a friendship with her classmate in the beginning, but eventually developed into a relationship. She didn’t have a particular preference on homosexuality, just that she didn’t have a good impression on boys. She thought boys are less trustworthy. [36”28]
Girls would be more easily to develop a bisexual orientation than boys.
SMILE: what are the reasons that lead to such gender generated (girls dominated) bisexual orientation?
HONG: Firstly, girls put more focus on psychological interaction; and there is a girl who can give out trust and confidence. Another reason is that the effect of previous failure in heterosexual relationships; where she may find out that finding a tomboyish girl would still have the feeling of being protected and the hatred of males would be eliminated due to the fact that she is still a female no matter how tomboy she dresses.
SMILE: Girls lost the trust on males while they don’t want to be hurt again by males. Brought back to the case of the form six girls, aged 17.[40”37]
HONG: Sometimes girls are just open-minded; they go for girls at this stage just because they have no better choices. They open their options and when one day suitable guys come by, they may go for a heterosexual relationship. This rejected the inborn theory.
SMILE: They just want to have someone besides. It is used to be acceptable to have hands held among girls.
HONG: The nurtures have great impact on sexual orientation.
SMILE: During the period of teenage, it is expected to have both opposite sex and same sex attraction, how do parents and their children go through this period together?
HONG: Communication is the crucial. While the mother discover she has the close contacts with a person, such as lots of phone calls or date out, parents can ask for more information from her daughter. No matter it is a he or she, parents should treat it equally.
Parents should maintain a neutralised position. They should respect their children but not to give out conclusions in a hurry. Respect would get a return of trust by their children where they are willing to tell parents the truth.
SMILE: This required a lot of techniques. [45”10]
[Song being broadcasted]
SMILE: This discussion is brought alongside with a case involving a school teacher and a 13 year old student and this student is considered incapable and too young to make individual decisions
In the past, parents would only prevent opposite sex interactions or relationships. Today, it extends to the same sex interactions.
For girls, it is very common to hold hands and getting close to each other, where should we draw the line in distinction between friendships/sisterhood and homosexual relations? [48”00]
HONG: The contacts which involved more sexual contents. The symptoms can be seen as more than just holding hands; but like hugging and kissing. Sometimes children are not willing to tell their parents the truth or everything. If the education of sex have been developed within the family throughout their period of growing up, it would be easier for them to communicate. When it comes to the daughters’ dilemma in sexual intercourses; if the trust and communication between the daughters and mothers are well developed, daughters would usually be willing to bring up the issues to their mothers.
SMILE: Some teenagers may think that their parents would have their stands or opinions already, since they were told not to do this and that, seems everything is being ‘regulated’. [51”42]
HONG: Different points of views among parents and children are acceptable and expectable; respect is the most important thing. Never scold the daughters in opposing their acts. Respect is not to impose parents’ opinion or standpoint on to their children; parents should explain and elaborate their opinions.
SMILE: The points to be brought out by parents should be reasonable, logical and with care.
HONG: Parents should not just focus on their daughters’ possible sufferings, but also other elements such as the academic impacts. For example, parents could hold a house warming party; invite all her friends, including the ‘close’ one. Observe how they interact and at least parents would know more about that girl, e.g. personal background.
SMILE: Nowadays, parents sometimes don’t know what kind of people their daughter are getting along with or hanging out. The reason may be due to their long hours of work. There is no communication among the family. Topics being discussed are always general, e.g. about school results, careers. Teenagers never stay home for fun; they would rather go out.
HONG: Teenagers found that talking to parents would be stressful. Every teenager has their happy and depresses moments. Parents should give more patience and listening is very important.
Sometimes, discuss on some homosexual video clips but I am worried that most of the time, such movies are glorifying homosexuality. [59”00]
[Suggesting that homosexuality is something that should not be glorified and is therefore something negative. This subjective comment is inappropriate given that he is speaking as a psychiatrist]
[Programme was cut off and the News was broadcasted. From there onwards, audience called in to speak about their children being homosexual. Dr. Hong was not on the show anymore.]
