May 1st, 2012
Mothers come out in support of Gay and Lesbian children
Fact: Homosexuality was NOT illegal in India until British ruled the country for 100 years and made it illegal to be involved in homosexual relationships.
Fact: Indian mythology shows Gay, Lesbian and Transgendered Gods and Goddesses
Fact: India is the only nation that accepted and respect Eunuchs as well since thousands of years, other countries slowly came to term with it. (Not same as gay but yet another sexuality/gender than the male or female)
Fact: United Kingdom made Civil Unions legal ages ago, and Homosexuality was legal for much longer and discrimination is illegal since decades.
Fact: Draconian British laws stuck in India against homosexuality for long time and it is only in 2008-2009 the honorable courts helped change things legally by recognizing homosexuality as natural and legal orientation.
Fact: The video below is in Hindi but if you have a friend who can translate, please do watch this with them.. an amazing feature on Indian Mother’s coming out in support of their Gay and Lesbian children in India.
I had to personally come out to my mother TWICE in my life and there is a whole story behind it. But My mother has always been supportive, initially struggled with understanding but never rejected me or disowned me, only wanted to understand better. Like any mother, she questioned herself if she did something wrong in raising me, but now she understands better and the journey together is amazing.
I highly recommend watching this video, spreading it, liking it – making it known – no matter where in the world you are, it is okay to be who you are!
Thanks guys
Source: http://szebastian.com/sex/gayindia/
August 4th, 2011
In a first, Gurgaon court recognizes lesbian marriage
Beena (left) and Savita say they got married on July 22.
By Shazwan Mustafa Kamal July 30, 2011
KHEKADA (BAGHPAT)/ GURGAON: Same-sex marriages are not legal in India. But that did not stop a Gurgaon court from effectively recognizing a marriage between two lesbians.
While granting police protection to a runaway lesbian couple from Khekada village in Baghpat, additional sessions judge Vimal Kumar recorded matter-of-factly that Beena and Savita claimed to be married to each other.
Their statements were recorded in the order without any indication that such a marriage had no legal status. “We have married to each other on July 22, 2011 of our own free will without coercion, duress, fraud, misrepresentation etc,” it stated.
Source: The Times of India
July 12th, 2011
To Be Gay In Indian Business
Source: Forbes.com
Anuj Chopra, 07.01.11, 06:00 PM EDT
Gay workers are forced to hide their sexuality. But there is a better way.
In her decade-long career, Neha Dixit has learned how to hide herself well. If an inquisitive colleague asks, marriage and kids are not for her–not after her recent divorce. It’s not like she’s not dating anyone, but she will only refer to her lover with a gender-neutral pronoun. If she can squelch all her natural tomboy instincts and “not look lesbian” at work, she will be just fine.
“If I have short hair, wear only shirts and trousers to work and have no boyfriend, there will be gossip about me,” says Neha, 32, who requested that her real name not be revealed. “When I go to work, I leave a part of myself back at home.”
Neha is a Mumbai-based executive with one of India’s largest telecom companies exploiting new-fangled business opportunities in a rapidly accelerating market. But within the company, conservative mindsets prevail. Homosexuality, she has gleaned from conversations with several colleagues, is considered a mental derangement or a sex-crazed lifestyle imported from Western shores. Coming out in such an environment would be professional hara-kiri. Her sexuality could be a major stumbling block in her career advancement. “I will not be judged by my work alone.” She also risks becoming an office joke; it could start off a trail of gossip and innuendo and her every friendly overture to female colleagues could be viewed with suspicion. Even worse, she fears her sexuality could be used as a weapon by some to blackmail or manipulate her.
The fear of being discovered is almost pathological. But Neha can’t afford to be totally reticent about her private life either. “I could be labelled a snob or a stuck up, affecting the professional relationship with my team members.”
She is forced to become a shape shifter, constantly editing and censoring herself amid pressures to fit within heterosexual norms. “I laugh the loudest when someone cracks a gay joke in the office,” she says. “When colleagues talk about their weekends and heterosexual escapades, I cook up my own stories.”
For Neha, and many others like her, the imaginary glass ceiling almost seems like an unbreachable barrier. A pervasive culture of silence has long bedevilled efforts to create workplace equality for employees who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT). For decades, they have waged a lonely battle for acceptance and visibility.
July 7th, 2011
A ‘queer’ discussion over chai
Source: Hindustan Times
With New York’s recent historic judgment, the LGBT community in India seems hopeful for a change. Delhi will witness a demonstration on the 2nd of July to mark the anniversary of the decriminalization of gay sex in India by the Delhi High Court. The second gay pride parade post the landmark
judgment is being planned at Jantar Mantar to spread awareness and demand further rights and acceptance for the gay community.
As a run-up to the 2nd July gathering at Jantar Mantar and an extension of Pride Month (June), the American Centre in partnership with The Kunzum Travel Café, hosted ‘Charcha Chai Aur Coffee-Celebrating LGBT Pride Month’, in association with the ‘It Gets Better Programme’.
‘It Gets Better’ program pledge reads: “Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message to my friends, family and neighbors. I’ll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it, at school and at work. I’ll provide hope for lesbian, gay, bi, trans and other bullied teens by letting them know that ‘It Gets Better.’”
The program aims to help LTGB youth understand and deal with what their lives might be like as openly gay adults. Inspirational videos from people from all over the world like first transgender American prom queen, Hilary Clinton and Barrack Obama are available on their website (itgetsbetter.org) for support.
However, in India, how much has changed since section 377, and what is still to change? If talks at Kunzum Travel Café are anything to go by, more than early euphoria, in India there are still many battles to be won.
The event was an opportunity to share stories, discuss issues, and talk about anything and everything, from whether Kerala weather affected promiscuity to transsexual marginalization, from rural support groups to anecdotes about absurd “preventive measures” against “becoming a gay”. Judging by the packed crowd, the evening seemed to be a success.
So what’s the take on 2nd July? Oddly, New York barely featured in the conversation. What people seemed more concerned about were larger social issues, and the differences between India and the West soon came out as well.
Widening the spectrum
After much laughter and sharing of coming out stories, talk shifted to pressing issues, such as the difference in pressure and expectations on lesbians and gays, and the support groups in rural areas, small towns, and amongst lower economic groups.
Shruti, a filmmaker, shared that while she was working a student film that dealt with transsexuality, she came across the Milan Project of the Naz Foundation.
Milan works as a support group for Men Having Sex with Men (MSM) & Transgender (TG) groups, largely from lower economic backgrounds. These men also volunteered as ‘field workers’, who spread awareness amongst their communities about homosexuality. However, a large part of these men are married, with families of their own.
Another issue that came up was the question of gender differences; and whether it was different for a lesbian to come out than it was for a gay man. It was pointed out that socially, it is more acceptable to be a lesbian; the effeminate connotations that attach to gays are not translated in the same degree to lesbians. However, there is far more pressure on women to be ‘sexually appropriate’ than there is on men.
‘What about the T in LGBT?’
Transgender was another issue that came up. Most people agreed that the T of LGBT was a community that was always marginalized, despite them playing such an integral part in the earliest LGBT movements.
India’s transsexual community has a long history and an extremely intricate social structure, making the community’s dynamics more complicated than its western counterparts.
While the concept of a ‘third gender’ has been dismissed by most Western LGBT movements, India is gradually embracing the category. Tamil Nadu was the first state to legally recognize the third gender, and the rest of India is not far behind.
A representative from the LGBT community who did not wish to be named brought up the issue of stereotyping within the gay community. “Some gay men do not want to associate themselves with transgender individuals and issues,” he said.
Transgender movements were amongst the first LGBT movements in India as well as the West, but today, drag queens and hijras are less than welcome and are gradually being dissociated from parts of the movement.
377 and beyond
So has it got better in India? What has really changed after the landmark section 377 judgment? Homosexuality has come into prominence in media and popular culture, from Dostana to I Am, and whether all of the attention is positive or not, awareness certainly is growing, along with confidence.
Vivek, another representative form the LGBT community, spoke of the shift in mindset in recent years. ”The new urban generation in particular, is far more comfortable with their sexual identity,” he said. With less ambiguity and secrecy about the LGBT issue, more young people are finding it easier to be open about their sexual preferences.
Many feel that the prominence that the gay movement is receiving has only come about in recent times. Until a few years ago, there was a dearth of information available to young people who were confused about their sexual identity.
Rohan*, spoke about how when he was growing up, the only information available to him was on the internet, and it was through the internet that he understood and came to terms with what he was going through.
July 2, Jantar Mantar- What to expect
There will be singing, demonstrating, stage shows, poetry and a referendum of gay rights and demands will be distributed to people present. People are hoping not just for legal action but a change in mindset and discrimination.
In New York, it has got better and hopefully India will follow suit. At least that’s what the LGBT community is hoping for, as they assemble in full form on the July to celebrate the anniversary of a landmark step in the right direction and agitate for the legalization of same-sex marriage in India as well.
*Name changed
March 23rd, 2011
Homosexuality in India
WHEN I WAS in school, I once saw two male friends kiss. For the longest time, I believed it to be the most painful moment of my adolescence. In many ways, the experience scarred my interactions with homosexuals through my schooling as well as college days. At a basic level, the “event” confirmed my strong fear and suspicion that the stereotype of homosexuality I had grown up with — one that the Indian society tends to normalise from birth itself — was closer to truth than I had imagined. Homosexuality seemed unnatural — something to be feared.
I began rethinking this much later in my life. Recently, I went to Japan and spent three months in the country. One of my closest friends there was gay, a fact about him that I, at some level, suspected but was never completely sure about. One day, he suggested that we all go to a gay club in Tokyo. To me, being friends with homosexuals was an effort in itself — it made me very uncomfortable. But going to a small dark place filled with hundreds of gay men grinding against each other in a shady neon-lit club under the effect of copious amounts of alcohol and other intoxicants was a nightmare taking shape.
My gay friend had been a constant companion, one who I was quite fond of. So begrudgingly, I agreed. Unlike other nights, when I would dress in my best clothes to woo the women and attract as much attention possible, I dressed in my torn jeans and a T-shirt that could easily have been a good reason to not let me through the door. I wanted to be invisible. To be honest, I imagined hundreds of horny men looking for pretty boys who they could fondle and grab in the dark. I thought they would offer me favours that would end either in the toilet or on their beds. Perhaps, that was a little presumptuous of me.
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To cut a long story short, I would never have been able to guess that the club was gay had I not been told beforehand. I got incredibly drunk and had the most fun ever. We danced till the wee hours of the night. All of us ended up sitting on the pavement, drinking beer and giggling like school kids. It was a group of one of the most interesting people I had ever met.
Strangely, the fact that we were all men was perhaps much less apparent than when a group of straight boys get together and have a boys’ night out. In fact, the sense of there being a lack of female company is stronger when it is only a bunch of straight boys where after intoxication there only exists a sexual need but no sense of having had a fun night out. This was different than those gatherings.
To be on the safe side, the fact that I was straight was something I had put on the table at the very beginning of the night itself. But strangely, I didn’t feel uncomfortable and the thought that the men were gay took a backseat. The vibes were gay, to the extent that gay is a kind of happy. Yes, my friend went home with some guy and only returned late next evening, smiling and exhausted. Much to my surprise, I felt happy too — perhaps even more than my friend. Finally, I had wrestled with my personal demons and was able to accept him like I could not have before. I was not the same boy in school who was literally traumatised seeing two of his male friends kiss.
Thinking back, perhaps the “event” was more a result of my friends’ adolescence than of their homosexuality. If I had seen it then, I would have realised how much similar they were to me, and not freaks like I had grown up to believe.
Source: http://www.tehelka.com/story_main49.asp?filename=hub260311personal.asp
